Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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my bubbles!

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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88

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what the hell happened to your face

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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