wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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