Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

whats polish and black a polish black person

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

Rebecca Black sings a song.

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

John Cena

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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