Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Tilt your screen back

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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