What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops