Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the baby have a hole in its head? it was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman comes at the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No soap radio

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops