Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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women's rights

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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