Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Hail Heetluh

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops