How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Religion

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

women's rights

Yee

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Dick Chaney

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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