why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -157

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

thumb_up thumb_down

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops