Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

Religion

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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