Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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