What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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