Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Hi

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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