Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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What is Lady Gaga's real name? Who the crap knows?

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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