You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -151

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops