There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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