So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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here kitty kitty

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops