i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

someone called a frog a frog

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

WOMENS RIGHTS

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

FIRE!!

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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