What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +38

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

thumb_up thumb_down +32

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i was molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops