Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +33

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops