What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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AIDS

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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