What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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nick toth

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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I've got a boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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