you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -74

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

thumb_up thumb_down -172

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops