Youre mom is so dead...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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