Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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