How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Oh look, I've found my knife

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Woman out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -113

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +98

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops