What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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zx

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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9/11

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No, Trinidad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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