what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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