Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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