Whats white? A fridge

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops