Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Nickelback.

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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12

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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