you know what they say... hydrate or die

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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