What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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