A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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FIRE!!

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops