What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

here kitty kitty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -197

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +112

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mommy so gehto shes black

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops