Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Women's Rights

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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