If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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my egg roll

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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