Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

Cancer.

eden stop

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

Every human being has some kind of penis <3

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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