Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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make me a sandwich!

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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