I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Whats Obama's last name?

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Gale swallows.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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