What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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