Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +150

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops