a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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whats worse than falling off of your bike? thats as bad as it gets,try to think of something else

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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