Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +153

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops