Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Dislike this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops