Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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This is not a joke

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Your mom is so nice.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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