You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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