Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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