How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops