A seal walks into a club...

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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