Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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penis

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Women's Rights

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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