Dislike this!!!!!!

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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