What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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i was molested.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Boom.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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