What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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nick toth

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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